THE COUNSELOR’S CORNER

Whoever first said truth is stranger than fiction really knew what he or she was talking about. This case pertains to a mobster, his wife, smuggling, and Federal prison. Any guesses as to what this case is about? Time’s up. Unless you have read about this elsewhere, I doubt you guessed right.

This matter took place in Williamsport, Pennsylvania, home of our former Little League World Series Championship team. No, the Little League wasn’t involved in this one. All right, if you think you are ready, the reputed mobster and his wife, Antonio and Maria Parlavecchio, have been accused of smuggling his sperm out of the Federal prison which is presently his residence. It is alleged that the sperm smuggling took place so that Mrs. Parlavecchio could get pregnant. The police say that on three separate occasions, Mr. Parlavecchio sent sperm from the Allenwood Prison to a fertility clinic located in New York, and his wife paid for it to be stored. In responding to a question that I have trouble believing was even asked, the Federal prosecutor indicated that he does not know whether or not attempts at artificial insemination were successful. Mr. and Mrs. Parlavecchio were not the only people ensnared in this law enforcement web. Three former guards at the prison were also named in this Federal indictment.

What was Mr. Parlavecchio charged with, you ask? Well, we can start with conspiracy, and bribery, both of which I can at least understand; however, he is then charged with three counts of “illegally possessing sperm kits for artificial insemination.” As for Mrs. Parlavecchio, she was charged with three counts of illegally providing sperm kits for artificial insemination.

Am I missing something here? The guy may be a mobster, but I would think he has the right to reproduce. After all, who’s going to take care of organized crime in Williamsport, Pennsylvania when he dies? This is one of the most ridiculous cases I have ever seen, heard of, or read about. It’s a good thing Mr. Parlavecchio wasn’t caught while producing or generating the sperm; I can only imagine what he would be charged with then. I guess if another prisoner were helping him in any capacity, that fellow prisoner would be charged with aiding and abetting the production of sperm from another male. There is something about the sentence in the charging document which refers to “illegally possessing sperm kits . . . ” that is good to remember if I am having a difficult day and need a good laugh.

This clearly is one of those cases where I hope there is more to this than the information with which I have been provided. I would like to think that there is more going on here than meets the eye. This case creates interesting visual images, too; images I could happily live without. From the production of the sperm, to the storage, the wrapping, the mailing, to the postman who delivered the package, to the arrival at the fertility clinic, to the happy unwrapping of this wonderful package, to the attempt, if it did take place, at artificial insemination. This story is just filled with exciting moments.

I don’t know what Mr. Parlavecchio did to earn his term in Federal prison. I imagine it is clearly in society’s best interest that he is in there rather than on the outside; however, if the man wants to airmail his sperm to his wife, in the hope of creating a future little Parlavecchio mobster, I don’t have a problem with that.